Today I’m feeling a mixture of emotions. I am exhausted, because we stayed up late drinking and playing Xbox last night and then decided 4 am drunk sex was a must. Yet somehow, I also feel a burst of energy flowing through me. I don’t want to move or think or feel, but at the same time I want to go out into the world and be social and interact with my friends. Earlier, I was relaxed and enjoying the time I had with my wife before she had to go to work. As soon as she left I started feeling sad and lonely. I don’t usually get this way. I enjoy time alone to reflect and do my own thing, but today apparently I’m feeling the need for interaction. I messaged one of my friends to see if they were free, but they’re going to the movies with our other friends. They didn’t invite me because they figured I would say no and that I’d be busy. That kind of hurt my feelings but I understand, because I’m constantly turning down invitations. Sonia and I have opposite schedules, so when we get time to spend together we don’t always want to go and be social with others.
I got invited to our cousins house for a kids birthday party, but that’s not the type of socializing I wanted in my day. I wanted he easy-going vibe of friends hanging out together without the pressure of a huge group of people to interact with.
Well, I guess I’ll see where the night takes me. I think I’m in for a quick nap.